ATTENTION
The rules change every time you load this page. Don't get used to them.
The Important Rules
Calvin wrote most of these.
- EVERYBODY WEARS A MASK. No questions about the masks.
- Sing the song before you play. Hobbes does the rumma-tum-tums.
- You can't play it the same way twice. except when you do!
- I can declare a new rule whenever I want.
- The flag must be defended at all costs.
- Forget the flag. There's a different flag now.
How It Works
I wrote down how to play.
1
Equipment
Volleyball, mallets, wickets, buckets, sacks, water balloons, hobby horse if I can get it.
2
Field of Play
The yard. The hill. Behind the garage. Susie's yard if she's not looking.
3
Teams
Two teams. I'm winning.
4
Turn Order
It's my turn.
5
Scoring
I award the points.
6
Penalties
Pain, embarrassment, or whatever I think up. Worst case is the Pernicious Poem with the bucket of ice water.
7
Zones
The Invisible Sector. The Boomerang Zone. The Opposite Pole, which you declare by not declaring. Vortex spots all over the lawn today.
8
Ending the Game
Game's over when Mom calls me in. Or when Rosalyn shows up and pulls the Baby Sitter Flag.
THE OFFICIAL SONG
The Calvinball Song
Other kids' games are all such a bore!
They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
rumma-tum-tum, rumma-tum-tum
You don't need a team or a referee!
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!
If you wanna have fun, play Calvinball!
da da buh dum!
Today's Rules
I just made these up.
RULES IN EFFECT
TODAY'S SCORING SYSTEM
THE ONE PERMANENT RULE
"You can't play it the same way twice."
— Calvin